+4W 6D オリエンタル仕様？ Oriental mode?

アラタは手、口、耳が大きいのだが、まつげも長い。これはどう見ても外人仕様。うらやましい・・・。写真でわかるかしらと思ったが、とりあえずアップの親ばか写真を撮ってみました。

さて、帝王切開で産まれた赤ちゃんは頭が大きいらしい。なんでも、普通は狭い産道を通るから頭蓋骨がきゅっと締まるんだって。産道を通るという試練を体験していない、帝王切開産まれに対するやっかみ？なんて思っちゃったりもするが、確かにアラタの頭は大きいかなあ。例えば、NickとGorolanaのところの赤ちゃんは、アラタより5週間もお姉さんで、体重も背も大きいのに、頭の大きさだけアラタの勝ちだ。それとも、アラタは頭のサイズを含めたプロポーションがオリエンタル仕様なのかしら。脳みそがいっぱい詰まっているといいんだけどなあ。

Arata has big hands, mouth and ears. He also has long eye lashes! It's definitely from Jason. I really envy him. I wonder if you can see it from a photo, but I took one in zoom mode!

Babies born by Caesarian are said to have bigger head. Usually, when babies get through the narrow canal of their mother in the final stage of labour, skull is a bit tightened. I think caesarian babies are discriminated for the easier start, they didn't experience the hardest part of the being born! Despite of that, Arata's head is quite big. Monika, Nick and Gorolana's daughter, is 5 weeks older than Arana and she is heavier and longer than Arata, but Arata has a bigger head! Does this prove the Caesarian born babys' head size myth? Or Arata's body proportion follows Oriental specification? Hope he has lots of brain in it!

+4W 5D はなくそっ Snot?

一週間ほど、アラタの鼻くそが気になっていた。左の鼻の入り口にあったのは、すぐ取れたのだが、右のは結構しぶとくくっついていた。アラタは鼻が詰まっているような呼吸をするので、こいつのせいだ！と思っていた私は、ティッシュや、綿棒、小指などで取ろうとするのだが、取れない。日本から来ている母には内緒で（ばれたら絶対に「危ない！」って怒られるから）毛抜きや耳掻きでもちょっとだけトライしてみたがだめだった。まあ、放って置いても問題ないのだが、毎朝、明るい光の下でアラタを見る度に、鼻の穴の中が気になるんだもの。ところが、昨日のぞくと、ない！アラタがくしゃみをした時にやっと取れたのだろう。部屋のどこかに落ちているはずだが、鼻詰まり呼吸は一向によくならない。

写真はおっぱいを飲んで満足気なアラタ。

I've been annoyed by Arata's snot for a week. The one in the left came off easily but the right one has been quite persistent! He breathes as if he has a blocked nose. And I've been convinced that it's because of the snot! I tried to get it out with a piece of tissue or a cotton bud or my little finger... but in vain. I even tried with tweezers or bamboo ear cleaning picker; behind mum's back because mum would have told me off saying it's dangerous if she'd seen it. Nothing has worked. It's totally ok to leave it, but every morning, when I hold and look at Arata in the sunny living room, I can't avoid seeing the snot.

I looked into his nose as usual yesterday morning. Oh my god! It was gone! Well done, Arata! He must have sneezed it out. Now, the sticky snot must be stuck somewhere in our flat and his breathing hasn't improved, though...

Arata is so happy after being fed in this photo!

恐怖のNHS出産体験! パート2 Horrible NHS labour experience Part 2

===== パート 2　入院から退院まで編　=====

帝王切開から2日半で退院。さすが、イギリス！税金の無駄遣いはしない？

12月28日午前2時半

帝王切開から2時間強しか経っていない。まだ麻酔のせいで体中の振るえが止まらないのに、赤ちゃんに母乳をあげるように言われる。「赤ちゃん、どうやって抱くんですか」と、おろおろする私。おっぱいの上げ方なんて全くわからないが、とりあえず吸わせる。生まれて数時間の赤ちゃんのくせに、おっぱいの吸い方を知っているからすごい！おっぱいなんて出ていない気がするんだけど、出産直後の初乳でお母さんの免疫を上げられるので一滴でも飲ませるといいらしい。結局、その後、助産婦がボトルでミルクを上げていたようだが私は朝まで熟睡。

12月28日

朝6時過ぎ、膀胱に入れられていた管を抜かれ、バスルームで下半身を洗うようにと言われる。術後6時間で、もう歩くの？と思ったが、意外とOKだった。朝食の食パン2切れと紅茶は、やっとありつけた食事。空腹だったのであっという間に平らげる。10時からの面会時間にJasonがやってくるが、私は今日はどんな姿勢でも、気がつくと寝ていた。「母乳で育てる気なら、しつこくおっぱいを上げ続けること。出産直後の赤ちゃんは24時間ぐらいミルクを飲まなくても大丈夫」と、出産前クラスで習っていたのでその通りにしていたが、助産婦の指示でJasonがボトルを上げるとごくごく飲んでいた。私は赤ちゃんを抱くのも、ふにゃふにゃしていて怖いのに、Jasonはなぜか慣れた手つきだ。おむつを取り替えると、ウンチは黒い粘土のような胎便だ。夜にもしつこく母乳を与えてみる。吸っている時間は長いが、口をはずすと大泣きするから、多分母乳は出ていないのだろう。そのたびに赤ちゃんを泣かせたまま、まだ痛む手術の傷をかばいながら、ナースステーションにボトルをもらいに行く私。かなりつらい。この夜は、ボトルを上げるとごくごく20ML飲み、その後3時間半ほど熟睡していたようだ。赤ちゃんは健康なため、この日で退院（Discharged）したが、私がまだなので一緒に病院に泊まり続けている。普通分娩ならお母さんも一泊で退院が一般的だ。

12月29日

回診に来た医者が、帝王切開の傷口の絆創膏をもうはがしたのにはびっくりしたが、剃毛もせずに、毛が生えてるところをばさーっと切ってあったのには正直、驚いた。今日も、両方の胸を、20分以上ずつ吸わせた後、泣き止まないため、ボトルを与えるの繰り返し。一度は、50MLぐらい飲んだ後に、５時間ぐらい熟睡していたからかなり空腹だった様子。さて、授乳がいまいちうまくできないから、前開きパジャマを着てみたり、ベッドの周りのカーテンをぴっちり閉めて、上半身裸になってトライもした。後から思うと、やはり母乳が出ていなかったようだ。普通分娩で3日、帝王切開で5日後ぐらいから母乳の量が増えるらしい。まあ、しつこく吸わせたおかげで、少なくとも、初乳はかなり与えられたはず。今日は、赤ちゃんの足の関節のチェック、聴覚のチェックなどをしたが、全てパス。病院食は覚悟していた通り（妊娠中に入院した経験から）、毎日インドカレー。味気ないイギリス料理よりはましだと思うけど、病院でカレーなんて素敵！

12月30日

退院。帝王切開後2日半だ。こんなに早くていいの？なんて思うが、何でも自分でやらなきゃならない病院より、家に帰ってJasonに手伝ってもらった方が楽かも・・・。

===== Part 2 - Staying in hospital　=====

I was discharged just 2 and half days after the Caesarian operation. NHS never waste money on free medical services!

28/12/04 2.30 AM

It's been just over 2 hours after the operation. I still feel shivery and my body is still shaking. But I was told to give breastmilk to Arata. I don't know how to do it and ask a midwife, 'How can I hold the baby?' I anyway manage to hold the baby and put a breast into his mouth. I was quite amazed to see how my baby can suck breasts less than 3 hours after birth. I don't think anything is coming out from my breast but the first milk, Colostrum, is very important to the new born baby. It's rich in antibodies and even a drop is good. A midwife gave a bottle to Arata afterward. I was fast asleep till the next morning.

28/12/04

At 6 AM, the tube inserted to my bladder was taken away. I was asked to go to the bathroom to wash myself. Do I have to walk on my own just 6 hours after a major operation, I thought, but it wasn't so bad. I had 2 slices of bread and a cup of tea for breakfast. I was so hungry because I hadn't had food for more than 18 hours. Jason came to the hospital at 10 AM. I was sleeping all day. We were taught at an antenatal class that we shouldn't give bottles if we are determined to breastfeed baby, and baby wouldn't die even if he doesn't get any milk for 24 hours. So we didn't give a bottle to Arata, until a midwife suggested us doing so. When Jason finally fed Arata, he was sucking the bottle very enthusiastically. I still feel scared to hold the wobbly baby but Jason seems to be ok, very confident. Changed nappies. He did very dark sticky poo. When I was giving breastmilk to Arata in the evening, he was sucking for a long time but once he released his mouth, he started to cry loudly. Probably nothing was coming out from my breasts. I then had to walk to the nursing station to get a bottle. This became a routine during my stay there. The cut from the operation still hurt but I had to walk through the corridor all the way.... Anyway, this particular night he had 20 ml of milk and slept very well for more than 3.5 hours. As Arata was fine, he was discharged today. But he had to stay with me in hospital. Without caesarian, usually mothers are also discharged after one night stay.

29/12/04

A doctor peeled off the bandage on the cut. Is it not too early? Quite surprised. What's more, I was shocked to see that the cut was made without shaving! I tried to give both breasts 20 minutes each today but Arata was still crying. I had to give him a bottle and once he had 50ml of milk, he slept for 5 hours. He must have been so hungry. To improve breastfeeding, I got changed into pyjamas which open at the front or I even got half naked to position Arata at my breast easily. Looking back, I don't think any breastmilk was coming. 3 days after normal and 5 days after caesarian birth, breastmilk usually starts to flow. Well, as I was quite persistent, Arata must have got at least plenty of Colostrum. Arata had his legs and hearing checked and all was clear. Hospital meals were Indian curry as expected. It's cool to have ethnic cuisine at hospital, isn't it?

30/12/04

I was discharged. It's just 2 and a half days after the caesarian operation. I thought it's too early but probably better staying at home as Jason can at least help me!

恐怖のNHS出産体験! パート１ Horrible NHS labour experience Part 1

今日は新の一ヶ月誕生日。新を産んだ日のこと、忘れないうちに記録しておこうと思う。

===== パート１　出産編　=====

2004年12月27日午後11時14分、帝王切開で3120グラムの男児出産。この日は長い一日だった～。

午前１時

もう妊婦辞めたい私。分娩誘発の覚悟はできていたが、最後の抵抗、おっぱいマッサージを試すとテキメンで、あっという間に今までとは違う痛み、陣痛が、始まる。このままだとすぐにも（？）産まれちゃうと思い、とりあえず、一旦２時に就寝。ところで、おっぱいマッサージ、あまりにも強くもみ過ぎて、乳首の周りが一部内出血してしまった・・・私に授乳指導した助産婦はJasonの性癖を疑ったに違いない。

午前４時

陣痛で目が覚める。トイレに行くと鮮血の出血。分娩病棟に電話。対応した助産婦はとりあえず誘発の予定通り、朝８時に病院に来るようにと指示。

午前７時ごろまで

10から15分間隔に40秒ぐらい続く陣痛になる。寝ていると痛いのでリビングルームを歩き回り、ご飯を炊いて病院で食べるお結びを作る。まだまだ余裕だ。日本にいる植田、直美やあっこちゃんと「陣痛が始まった」とメールでチャット。「病院にいってきま～す」が最後のメッセージ。

午前９時

The Royal London Hospitalの分娩病棟の病室。Qualified（正規）助産婦、スペイン人のStudent（見習い）助産婦が私の担当。助産婦の内診。２CM 開いているので、子宮口を軟化させて陣痛を促進するジェル(prostaglandin)の使用はしないことに。やったー。（これで分娩誘発は避けられたと勘違いしてしまうのだが。）しばらく病室、廊下などを歩きながら陣痛を促す。TENSも使用してみるがいまいちピンと来ない。ところで、子宮口近くになにかあると、医者がもう一度内診した。子宮筋腫がそこにあるらしいが、助産婦はへその緒かもしれないと思ったようだ。

午前11時半

内診。２CMから進展なし。一時間後にもまだ変わりなければ破水させると言われる。

午後１２時半

内診。進展なし。破水される。特に痛くなかったが、Student助産婦が少し手間取るのであせった。パッドをあてて、動き回ってよいという指示に従い動き周る。陣痛が少し強くなったがTENSは効かない。

午後１時半

パッドに出た羊水が茶緑。胎児が仮死状態になりウンチをした可能性があるので、この時点からベッドに横になり赤ちゃんの心音のモニターが始まったため、動き回って陣痛を我慢、重力を使って陣痛を促進ということができなくなる。TENSが効かないからだんだんつらくなる。笑気ガスも試すが効かず、気持ち悪くなった。

午後３時頃

パサディーンを勧められるが拒否。エピデュラル（硬膜外麻酔）をして～と懇願。たまたま担当のQualifiedが昼休みに行っていたため、 Studentが代わりに指示を仰いだ別のQualifiedは「担当の彼女が帰ってきたらエピデュラルしましょう。」でも、その彼女、予定通りにランチから帰ってこない。結果的に麻酔医がエピデュラルの準備をしにきた時は、もう地獄でなにが起きてるかもわからない状態。だいたい、Royal Londonには、Student助産婦、医者がいて、陣痛誘発剤のドリップをつけるために、手の甲の血管に長い針を刺す時も、Studentドクターがやろうとして、途中まで針を刺してもできず、オブザーブしていた医者が逆の手にやり直すなんてことも。Studentうんぬんが何かする時は拒否もできるけど・・・ちょっとねえ。

午後４時

エピデュラルの投与、陣痛誘発剤(Oxytocin)6MLの点滴開始。陣痛誘発剤で、かなり強い陣痛が起きるからエピデュラルなしでは地獄だろう。エピデュラルはすぐに効き始めたが、子宮の右側の効きがいまいちわるい。羊水に血液が混ざるのを不可解に思った助産婦が医師の指示を仰ぐ。どうやら子宮筋腫から出血しているらしい。

午後5時半

エピデュラル、2回目の投与。一時間半おきにトップアップできる。今回は、投与後、少し右を向いて横になるなった。これで、薬が右側に流れて右も効いてきた。が、下の方の効きが悪い。病室設置のCDプレイヤーでLondon MagicやJazz FM、クラシックFMなどを流しながら陣痛に耐える。

午後7時

エピデュラル、3回目の投与。下の方も効いてくる。陣痛が来ると、多少の痛みがあるのがわかるが、かなり楽に耐えられる。トイレに行けないので、膀胱に直接管を入れ尿を取る措置。お腹がすいてきたが、帝王切開になる可能性もあるので食事は禁止。水分補給のみ。お昼過ぎにお結びを胃に詰め込んでおいたとはいえ、これはつらかった。

午後8時半

エピデュラル、4回目の投与。一時間半おきにトップアップしないとちょっと耐えられないが、今回も全体に効いていい感じ。ただ、まだ子宮口は6CM程しか開いていないのでちょっと進行が遅い。赤ちゃんはエピデュラルをトップアップした直後に必ず一時的に心拍数が下がるのが気がかり。9時のシフト交替前に帝王切開をしたそうな医者。

午後9時

助産婦、医者のシフト交代。目の前で申し送りをする。子宮口は7CM。交替の医者は進行が遅いので、陣痛誘発剤(Oxytocin)の量を12MLに増量するよう指示。かなり陣痛がきつくなるがエピデュラルのおかげで卒倒せずに済んでいる感じ。

午後10時15分

今度の助産婦は、1時間半過ぎたのに、エピデュラルをトップアップしてくれない。彼女は「私が交代で入った時にトップアップしたばかりよ」と医者に言っている。それって1時間半前でしょ？陣痛誘発剤を増量したのに、エピデュラルがないなんて・・・・。私は激痛にだんだん耐えられなくなり、どうして投与してくれないのか理解できず、文句も言えず、かなりつらい。

間断ない激痛のため、涙を流しながら七転八倒したため、赤ちゃんの心拍数モニターは、彼の頭から直接測ることになる。子宮口からなにやらコードを挿入して赤ちゃんの頭にクリップする。担当助産婦は医者に「私が引き受けた直後は彼女は安定していたのに、急に痛がりだした」と言っていたが、エピデュラルのトップアップをしてくれないからじゃない。それにしても今日はなんて多くの人の手といろいろなものが私の下半身に挿入されているのかしら・・・。

午後10時40分

やっとエピデュラル、5回目の投与。医者がまだ痛がっている私をみて、やっとトップアップの指示を出す始末。赤ちゃんの心拍数がかなり不安定になる。私があまりにも痛がっているからだと思うけど・・・。エピデュアルは効いてきた。子宮口は9CM。もう少しなのだが、内診した医者は、赤ちゃんがまだ十分に下に降りてきていず、当分産まれそうもないと診断。

午後10時50分

医者が3人集まって病室の端で協議。「あなたは十分がんばったけど、赤ちゃんがもう限界なので」と、真夜中の帝王切開に。あとでJasonに聞いたところ、1人の医者がもう1人に、「こんな形の子宮、見たことあるか？」と言っていたらしい。どういうこと？？？。

午後11時

医者や助産婦、看護婦たちがあわただしく準備をしている。帝王切開のために、エピデュラルを更に大量に投与され、ぼーっとしている中、医者の1人が帝王切開の承諾書の条件を読み上げ、サインをさせられる。

午後11時すぎ

手術室へ入る。モルヒネも注射され、麻酔漬け状態。ここでもラジオのLondon Magicがかかっている・・・。

午後11時14分

手術開始後1分も経たずに、「男の子が産まれました」と言われる。ふぎゃー、ふぎゃーという赤ちゃんの泣き声が聞こえてきた。とうとう出てきた～、本当に産まれたんだ～と、麻酔でぼーっとなりながらほっとする。巨大児を予想していた私の第一声は「赤ちゃんは何キロ？」赤ちゃんのチェックを一通りしてから枕元に一瞬彼を連れてきてくれた。「私に似てないぞ」が私の第一印象。

午後12時

麻酔は効いているが、下腹部で何かを取り出したりしまったりする骨に響く感覚がある。12時少し前、縫合も終わり、別の部屋に移されると、Jason と赤ちゃんが待っていた。赤ちゃんをもう一度ヨーク見る。目が細長くて、耳と手、口が大きい。おでこと鼻は私似？私は、麻酔のせいで体の震えが止まらない。空腹で仕方がなく、「何か食べていいですか」と聞いてみるが、明日までだめ。代わりに、助産婦さんがプラスチックカップに熱い紅茶を入れてくれた。少しでもお腹の足しにと、普段は入れない砂糖を入れて。すごくおいしい紅茶だった。今までの人生で一番おいしかった紅茶！

午前2時

産後病棟に移される。Jasonは帰宅。

「反省と学んだこと」

前日まで100%心が決まっていなかったのだから、分娩誘発はキャンセルすべきだった。結果的には誘発をしたことによって、自然に陣痛を起こしたり、緩和したりができなかったのが痛かった。早くに破水させられ、身動きが取れなくなったのも陣痛を進められなかった原因だし、普通だったらまだ家で陣痛対策ができたのに、それも不可能になった。シフト交代前の助産婦さん、医者はよかったが、交代後のチームがいまいちだったのは単なる運なのだろうか？帝王切開で赤ちゃんは楽に出てこれてよかったかな。出産自体は、エピデュラルのおかげで思ったほどひどいものではなかった。妊娠中の9ヶ月に比べれば、たった1日の苦痛だし、また産んでもいい。

Arata's one month birthday! I've decided to write about what happened on the day he was born.....

===== Part 1 - Arata was born! =====

He was born at 23.14 on 27/12/2004 by Caesarian. He was 3.12Kg. It was a long long day.....

1 AM

I felt I'd had enough. I wanted to finish off 'maternity life'. I'd already made up my mind to go to hospital for the induction in the morning. But I anyway tried 'breast massage' which is said to cause contractions. Well, it really worked well and within a couple of minutes, contractions, different sort of pains, started. At 2 AM, I decided to stop massaging because I didn't want the labour started without any sleep. I went to bed. By the way, I must have massaged the breasts too hard. I found a bruise around a nipple. The midwife who showed me how to breastfeed may have got a wrong idea....

4 AM

Woken up by contractions. I saw slight bright red bleeding. Rang the Labour Ward. A midwife told me nothing to worry but come to hospital for the induction appointment at 8 AM.

Before 7 AM

Contractions became more intense, every 10 to 15 minutes, which lasted for about 40 seconds. I was moving around the living room, cooking rice and making rice balls to take to hospital. I then started to surf on the intenet and exchanging e-mails with my friends in Japan. My last message to them was, 'I'm going into labour!'

9 AM

At Royal London Hospital. One qualified and one student midwives were looking after me. The qualified one checked the cervix. It was dilated 2CM. They decided not to use the prostaglandin. (I thought I could have avoided the induction but I was wrong.) I was walking around to stimulate contractions. Tried TENS but didn't seem to work. A doctor checked me again as the midwife wasn't sure about something near the cervix, she thought it may be a part of the cord. It was actually one of the fibroids.

11.30 AM

Checked the cervix again. No development. The qualified midlife told me that they were going to break the waters if it was still the same in one hour.

12.30 PM

Checked by midwife. No development. The student midwife broke the waters. She was at first struggling to do it, which made me a bit nervous. It wasn't painful though. I then put on a sanitary pad and was allowed to move around. Contractions became stronger but TENS didn't work on me.

13.30PM

The water on the sanitary pad was a bit greenish brown. The baby might have been a bit distressed and pooed. Baby and I had to be monitored. I now could not move round but had to lie in bed with some monitor attached around my bump. This was quite bad as I could not use gravity to push the baby down or stimulate and manage contractions. As TENS did not work, I was given gas and air but this didn't work either. I felt a bit sick instead.

15.00 PM

I was offered pethadene but declined. I begged them to give me epidural. Unfortunately, the qualified midwife was out for lunch and the midwife who covered her told me that we had to wait till the qualified was back. But the qualified didn't come back after one hour.... she must have taken longer lunch without telling them! When an anaesthetist came round to set up epidural at last, I was in a state of panic from terrible pain and couldn't remember much. By the way, at Royal London Hospital, there are so many 'student' something. Student midwives, student nursees, student doctors..... When a long needle was inserted to the back of my hand for the Oxytocin drip, a student doctor tried to do it first but she couldn't and the doctor observing took her over to do it on the other hand! It horrified me! We of course have a right to reject student something but I wonder how many people say no.

16.00 PM

First dose of epidural. Oxytocin, 6ML, started. Without epidural, it must have been terrible since Oxytocin brought strong contractions. Epidural started to work immediately except for the right hand side of the uterus. The qualified midwife, who was a bit worried about my bleeding, asked a doctor for advice. The bleeding is from one of the fibroides.

17.30 PM

Second dose of epidural was topped up. It can be topped up every 1.5 hours. I was asked to lie on my right to make epidural flow to the right side of my body, too. It then started to work. But the lower side of my tummy still felt pain.... We tuned into London Magic, Classic FM, Jazz FM....

19.00 PM

3rd dose of epidural. It started to work on the lower tummy. With epidural, I can still feel contractions but easy to put up with. As I could not go to the toilet, a tube was inserted to my bladder. I felt hungry but was not allowed to eat anything, in case I might go for the Caesarian. I could only take plain water but no tea. I was wise enough to fill up my stomach with rice balls around the noon, but still getting really hungry.

20.30 PM

Epidural, 4th top-up. Worked very well. Midwife and doctor checked the cervix but still only 6CM. A bit slower than doctor expected. The baby's heartbeat always slowed down temporarily immediately after the top-up, which made us a bit worried. The doctor seemed to want to go for the Caesarian just before his shift change at 9 PM.

21.00 PM

Midwives and doctors' shift change. (This was actually the crucial point for me!) They did handover in front of me. The cervix dilated 7 CM. The new doctor ordered the new midwife to increase the amount of drip, Oxytocin, to 12ML. The contractions became really intense, and without epidural, I would have definitely passed out!

22.15 PM

The new midwife hadn't topped up epidural after 1.5 hours. She even told a doctor that when she came, I'd been just topped up. Well, that's 1.5 hours ago, though! The Oxytocin had been increased but no epidural.... the pain started to be so strong but I couldn't understand why they didn't give me more drug...

The pains started to come and go without break. I couldn't stand any more and I was crying, screaming, holding onto Jason and rolling in bed. Probably it's the main reason but anyway, it became difficult to take baby's heartbeat from outside of my bump. The baby had a monitor cord clipped to his head directly. A doctor inserted the cord through the cervix. Well, so many things and hands have passed through my vagina today.... The midwife said to the doctor, 'When I took over her, she was quite stable. But suddenly started to scream.' It's YOU who hasn't given me extra epidural!, I thought, but it was too painful for me to make any proper complaints.

22.40 PM

5th epidural, at last, after the doctor returned for his checkup to find I was still in intense pain. But baby's heart beat was getting unstable again. I'm sure it's because it was so painful and I moved a lot. If epidural had been working ok, baby should have been ok. Once the epidural was topped up, it immediately started to work again. The cervix was dilated 9CM. It's nearly there but the doctor checked inside said the baby wasn't lowered enough and it would still take some time till the baby was ready.

22.50 PM

3 doctors gathered to discuss in a corner of the room. I was then told, 'You have been doing very well but your baby has had enough.' They decided to go for caesarian. Later Jason told me that he'd overheard one of the doctors asking another 'Have you ever seen a uterus shaped like this before?' What does this mean?

23.00 PM

More doctors and midwives rushed into the room to get it ready. Double doses of epidural was topped up. One of the doctors came to me and read out the terms and conditions of the operation. My head was really drowsy from epidural but I signed the paper of consent.

Just after 23.00 PM

Got into the operation theatre. I was injected with diamorphine as well. I could hear London Magic FM from the radio there...

23.14 PM

Within one minute after the operation started, the anaesthetist said to us, 'Congratulations! You have a baby boy.' I could hear 'Fugnyaaa... Fugnyaaa..' At last, it's out! I felt so relieved. By the way, as I was somehow expecting a huge baby, my first words to the anaesthetist was 'How big is he?' Having checked the baby, a midwife brought the baby briefly to us. My first impression on him was 'he doesn't look like me!'

Just before 24.00 AM

Local anaesthetic was working perfectly but I could still feel something being taken out and in from the lower part of the body. Just before midnight, the operation was completed and I was transfered to another room. Jason and the baby were already there. I had a better look at the baby. His eyes are long but thin, ears, hands and mouth are big. Probably his forehead and nose are from me? From the anaesthetic, my whole body was still shaking. I was so hungry and asked a midwife if I could eat anything. but I wasn't allowed to eat... She then brought me a nice cup of tea. I was starving and asked her to put some sugar. Well, the tea was the best I had ever had in my life!

2.00 AM

Transfered to the postnatal ward. Jason went home.

What I learnt...

I hadn't made up my mind till the day before but I should have cancelled the induction appointment. If the waters hadn't been broken so early for example, I should have been able to move around longer and the labour must have been much easier. In addition, NHS nurses, midwives and doctors are a bit dodgy, aren't they? A couple of episodes are like jokes! And epidural is a 'must'. Compared to the 9 months ordeal of being pregnant, labour lasts only for one day at most and not that bad. I don't mind giving birth again.

+4W 2D 大きな手 Big hand

アラタの手は大きい。出産後初めて彼を見たときに、手が大きくてしわしわなのに驚いた。私の想像していた赤ちゃんの手はまんまるとしていて、小さくて、いつもグーをしている。アラタのは、でかくて、上や下を指差していたり、じゃんけんのぱーをしている。既に、私の手の３分の１ぐらいの大きさ。いい投手になれるだろう。アラタとキャッチボールが出来る日が来るのが待ち遠しい。

Arata's hands are big. When I first saw him, I was quite surprised to see his big wrinkly hands. My stereotyped baby's hands are round, small, and tightly closed. But Arata's hands aren't usually closed. He is often pointing to up or down with one the index finger or opening his hands wide. The size of his hands are already nearly one third of mine. I think he will make a good baseball pitcher. I'm really looking forward to playing catch with him.

+4W 0D BCG 予防接種 BCG immunisation

BCG予防接種。まず、ベイビークリニックへ。体重は4.07Kg、一週間で300Gの増加。ヘルスビジターさんは、「アラタくん、背が高いわね。」赤ちゃんの場合英語では「High - 高い」ではなくて「Long - 長い」という単語を使うらしい。スーも昨日同じ表現を使っていた。確かに赤ちゃんは立てなくて横になっているから、「Long」なのだろう。昨日の夜から下痢気味だったアラタだが、熱がないので予防接種は決行された。今晩熱が出ないといいのだが、もし熱が出たら、スポンジで体を拭いてあげるか、Calpolという薬を飲ませるようにと言われた。だいたいBCGはロンドンのそれもこのあたりに住んでいなければしなくていい予防注射だから、なんだかアラタがかわいそう・・・。

Arata has BCG immunisation this morning. At baby clinic, he was weighed 4.07Kg, 300g more than a week ago. A health visitor told me that Arata is quite long. They discribe baby's height as 'long' but not 'heigh'. Well, Sue was using the same expression yesterday. Baby can not stand but just lying and never be 'high'? He's been having a bit watery poo since last night but as he doesn't have temperature, he got the shot. Hope he will not overreact and develop fever this evening. Doctor told me to wipe him with wet sponge or give him Calpol if he has temperature. BCG is given to newborn babies within one month from birth, if he or she lives in this part of London only. A bit of bad luck for Arata....

+3W 6D ママ友達 Friends with babies

ヘルスビジターが紹介してくれた一歳すぎの女の子のお母さん、のりこさんの計らいで、金曜日は近所に住む3人の日本人ママたちと5時間もおしゃべりをした。この辺りには駐在員家族はほとんど住んでいないので、みんな国際結婚組だから、悩みも似ていてかなり気分転換になった。月曜日にベイビークリニックに行った時は、Nickの奥さん、ゴロラナにばったり会って、今度遊びに行く約束をした。今日はジョージとスーが六ヶ月になる男の子、アリスターを連れて遊びに来てくれた。(写真はジョージ、スー、アリスターと)

A health visitor introduced me to Noriko, who has one year old baby girl. She organised a gathering with other Japanese mums living around here on Friday. I had a good time chatting with 3 other mums for about 5 hours. They are all married to non-Japanese and our situation and problems are quite similar. Talking to them was quite refreshing. At baby clinic last Monday, I ran into Nick's wife, Gorolana and I promised to visit her soon. Today, George and Sue visited us with their 6 month old son Alistair. (Photo with George, Sue and Alistair.)

+3W 3D 偏頭痛 Migraine

妊娠中は偏頭痛にならなかったけど、出産したとたんに復活。寝不足とストレスという、偏頭痛にとっては恰好の条件が揃う毎日だもの。イミグラン50が私の常備薬だが、医者によると、妊娠中同様、母乳授乳時は十分な臨床結果がないので出来るだけ避けること。ってことは、痛みに耐えるしかない。薬が飲めないと2，3日は続く偏頭痛・・・丸一日もかからない出産の方が楽？

I didn't get migraine during pregnancy but soon after I gave birth, it's started again. Lack of sleep and stress are the main causes of attacks and I have no choice. The medicine called Imigran 50 work very well to tackle the pain. The doctor I talked to said that it's better avoid it as there are not enough studies to prove it's safe during pregnancy or breastfeeding. I have to put up with the terrible pain.... If I can not take tablets, it usually lasts for 2 to 3 days.... delivering baby lasts only one day at longest, which seems to be much easier!

+3W 2D 外出 Taking Arata out

日本では新生児は最低一ヶ月、人によっては二ヶ月は外出をさせない。病気などにかからないようにするためだ。

私がイギリスで参加した産前クラスでは、赤ちゃんは産まれて6ヶ月ほどはお母さんの免疫を受け継ぐので病気はしないと習った。また、助産婦も医者も「いつ赤ちゃんを外に連れ出していいか」という質問に、「お母さんがいいと判断した時に」と答える。だからイギリス人の赤ちゃんは産まれて数日でパブに連れて行かれたりするし、アラタのデビューも早かった。10日目にベビーカー購入のために初外出。その後数回買い物に連れ出した。大体2時間ちょっとの外出なので彼はいつも寝ているのだが、今日は中華料理を食べに行った時に初めて、母乳をあげる羽目になった。それも女子トイレで！初めはどきどきしていた外出にもだんだん慣れてきた。日本から来ている母には私達の行動は大胆に見えるらしく、はらはらしているようだが・・・。

ただ、日本だけではなく、イギリスにいる日本人の友達に、インフルエンザの免疫はないなんて事を言われると、やはり、冬だしなるべくばい菌に触れさせないようにという気持ちも理解できるから、慎重にしている。Jasonが外から帰ってくるとまず私が言うせりふは「手洗って！」だ。

In Japan, mothers don't usually take their new born babies out at least in the first month. Some mothers wait as long as 2 months, to avoid babies from getting virus or bacteria.

At the antenatal class, we were taught that babies have antibodies from their mums and it keeps babies away from getting ill for about 6 months from birth. When midwives or doctors are asked a question when we can take our baby out first time, the answer is always 'When mother feels ready.' I've heard that some mums here take their newborn to a pub to introduce to their friends soon after they are born. Arata's first day out was also quite early. He was out with us to buy his buggy when he was 10 days old. We then took him out for a couple of times to shopping. Usually it was about 2 or 3 hours and he was always fast asleep. But when we went to a Chinese restaurant this evening, I breastfed him in the ladies! It's was my first experience of breastfeeding him outside! I've been getting used to taking him out. My mum feels it's too early and she always seems to be quite anxious....

Well, but, my Japanese friends in Japan or here have told me that babies don't have antibodies to the flu or there are loads of germs out especially in winter, I've also become a bit cautious. The first words I ask Jason as soon as he comes home are 'Wash your hands!'

+3W 1D 母乳授乳とげっぷ Breast feeding and winding

昨日、母乳授乳クラスへ行った。産前母乳ワークショップの時の助産婦さんがこのクラスも担当。私以外に5人の新米ママ。みんな同じような悩みを抱えているんだなあということで、ちょっと気が楽になる。授乳用ピロウを使わない母乳のあげ方、赤ちゃんを肩に持ち上げてげっぷさせる方法を個別に指導してもらえて少し自信がついた。写真はげっぷをさせている図。猿顔になっていてちょっとかわいそう・・・。

それにしても母乳授乳には泣かされた。まず、帝王切開3時間後の麻酔も切れずにふらふらな時に「初乳が赤ちゃんには大事だからおっぱい上げて」と言われる。大体、ふにゃふにゃした赤ちゃんを抱くことすら怖かったから、私の最初の質問は「どうやって赤ちゃんを抱くの？」

病院に入院していた2日半、おっぱいを上げてはみるが、ミルクが出ているかもよくわからない。アラタは1時間近くおっぱいを吸っているのだが、そっとベッドに置くと火がついたように泣き出す。しょうがなく、術後の傷の痛みに耐えながらナースステーションまでボトルをもらいに行く、の繰り返しだった。いろいろな助産婦さんに同じ質問、「どうやって飲ませるか」を何回もしてみるが、なかなかポジショニングがうまくいかない。夜はベッドの周りのカーテンをきっちり閉めて、上半身裸になってあげてみたりもした。

退院後は、昼でも上半身裸で授乳の「練習。」うちのリビングからはテムズ川しか見えないからと、大胆になっていたけど、テムズ川クルーズ船の観光客が精度のいい望遠レンズで覗いていたら丸見えだろうな。それでも、30分上げてもアラタは泣きだすの繰り返し。長く強く吸われるから乳首が割れて痛くて、その上、産後のべいびーぶるーも重なって、泣きながらJasonに当たったりもした。後一押しで、母乳は諦めるところだった。結果的には、Jasonのしぶとさのおかげで、100％母乳が確立できたってことだ。出産後5日目ぐらいから急に母乳が流れだしたのだ。

後から調べたら、自然分娩で3日、帝王切開で5日後ぐらいから母乳の量が増えるらしい。通りでね。その前は全然出ていなかったからアラタもお腹をすかせて、長く強くおっぱいを吸っていたのだ。おっぱいが出だすと、胸が張るほどになり、搾乳ポンプで絞る必要もでてきた。搾乳されておっぱいがぴゅーぴゅー出ている自分の胸を見ると、牛になった気分だ。

母乳が出だすと次に困ったのは、げっぷをさせられないってこと。膝の上に座らせて背中をさするのは首がふらふらして怖い。肩に担いで背中をたたくのは、肩に担ぐこと自体怖い。結局いつもJasonに任せるのだが、夜中に授乳した後は、げっぷをさせないと寝ている間にミルクを吐くので、気管に詰まらせてしまうのが恐怖になってなかなか寝られず、けいこやかなりの数の友人にアドバイスを求めたがかなりのトラウマになった。3週目になって、アラタが少し大きく、筋肉もついてきたから、前ほどふにゃっとしなくなったっていうのが大きいけど、今日のクラスで個別指導を受けたのが役に立ったようだ。アラタを担ぐと、すぐにげーっとげっぷをしてくれる。

次の目標は、外でおっぱいを上げられるようになること。

Went to a breast feeding class yesterday. There were 5 other 'new' mothers there. Getting to know that they also have similar worries and problems made me feel a bit easier. The midwife taught me how to breastfeed without using a nursing pillow and how to wind, personally in a separate room. I feel much more confident now. The photo was taken when I was winding Arata. He looked like a monkey....

It was not an easy start for me. Just 3 hours after the Caesarian operation, I was asked to breastfeed Arata, for the benefit of the first milk to baby. But I did not even know how to hold a new born baby. Arata was really wobbly... My first question to midwife was, 'How can I hold the baby?'

During my 2 and half day stay at hospital, I tried hard to breastfeed him. I had no idea if any milk was coming. Arata would keep sucking my breast for nearly one hour but as soon as I put him in the cot, he started to cry. I then had to walk to the nurse station to get a bottle of milk. I was still in a great pain of the cut from Caesarian operation..... I kept asking the same question to every midwife, 'How can I hold the baby to feed him?' At night, I even took off my top and tried to feed him.

After I came home, I always became half naked to breastfeed, even during day time. Well, from the windows of our living room, we can only see the river Thames. Probably some tourists on a Thames river cruise could catch a sight of my breasts! Never mind! Even I tried that hard, 30 minutes after Arata sucking breast, he still seemed not happy and cried very hard. He sucked very strong for long and my nipples became cracked, which was really painful. Once I was literally crying and complaining to Jason, 'Why are you forcing me to do this!!' He later told me that he thought it was a part of my 'baby blues'. No! It was really hard for me!!! I was about to give up breastfeeding but it was Jason who was patient enough to encourage me to keep doing. Thanks to Jason, I am now 100% breastfeeding Arata. From about the 5th day of the birth, breastmilk suddenly started to flow.

I later learnt that about 3 days after normal birth and 5 days after Caesarian birth, the milk start to flow. I see... I'm now quite sure that there was not much milk before and that's why Arata was sucking so strong for a long time. He must have been really hungry. Once the flow has started, my breasts sometimes become so full and I have to use a breast pump to express some milk. Looking at my breasts being expressed is quite amazing. I can understand cow's feeling now.

I had another problem. I felt really scared to wind baby. It's simply because baby was too wobbly and I felt so frighten to hurt him by holding him to wind. I always asked Jason to wind Arata but during night, I had to do that by myself. If I didn't wind him, he vomitted a bit of milk during sleep, which made me feel so scared... I thought he was going to choke one day.... I asked so many friends for advice. It was really a trauma for me. Arata is now 3 weeks old and day by day he is getting stronger and he is now not as soft as before. Probably that's the main reason why I feel less scared now. In addition, breastfeeding class I attended yesterday was so helpful. I can now put him on my shoulder to wind. He usually makes a big burp as soon as I put him that high position!

My next objective is to be able to feed in public!

+ 3W 0D ヘルスビジター Health Visitor

助産婦の家庭訪問が終わると、今度はヘルスビジターの訪問がある。ヘルスビジターは赤ちゃんの成長についてのチェック、アドバイスをしてくれる。私の住んでいる地域では、毎週月曜日にGPのクリニック内で「ベイビークリニック」がヘルスビジターにより運営されていて、予防接種、体重測定、相談などに応じてくれる。平日困ったことがある場合には、電話での対応もしあり。今日、新を連れて行ってきた。体重は約3.8Kg。重くなったわけだ・・・。また、11月に出産予定だと聞いていたNickの奥さんにばったり会った。8週間の女の赤ちゃんだそうだ。今度遊びに行こうと思う。

At Wapping Health Centre, 'Baby clinic' is held every Monday by health visitors. Babies get weighted and immunisation, or health visitors give us some advice if we have any problems about baby's growth. It's just a pop-in clinic and very handy. I went there first time today. Arata now weighs 3.8 Kg. I ran into Nick's wife at clinic. They have a 8 weeks old baby girl. I should visit them soon!

+2W 6D 出産祝い Presents

今年になってからも、出産祝いをたくさんの人にいただいている。桶川のおじちゃん、奈弓ちゃん、みっちゃん、みこ・・・。Jasonのいとこやおじさんおばさんから、また、写真は、Jasonのおばあちゃんが編んだ素敵なブルーのカーディガン、帽子、靴下のセット。みなさん、どうもありがとう。

We have received more presents. From my uncle in Japan, Nayumi, Mitsuyo, Miko, Jason's cousin, uncle & auntie. Jason's grandma made a set of cute blue hat, cardigan and booties!! Thank you very much!

+2W 4D 心配 Too much worries?

赤ちゃんの場合熱があるというのは38度以上らしいが。ここ一週間、新の熱が少し高めの37度後半なことが何回かあった。新生児は着せすぎで熱が上がるらしく、新もそのパターンだったようだが、心配した。また、ここ数日、目の周りが青白かったり、授乳後呼吸が荒くなったり、うがいをするような音を出しながら呼吸したりしていたため、きのうはNHSの24時間ヘルプラインに電話し、今日はGPに聞きに行ってしまった。対応したGPは「あなた、おかあさんに初めてなったのね。」どうやら全ての症状は、新生児にはよくあることで、特に心配がないとのこと。ただ、第一子の時は、不安になってGPに連絡してくるお母さんが多いらしい。

写真は、おむつを替えてもらって満足しているあらたくん。

Arata's temperature has been on its high side, over 37.5C, for a couple of times in the last week. If baby's temperature is over 38C, it's regarded as 'high'. Baby's temperature goes high if he is wrapped too much and Arata has been no exception. Anyway, I was worried. He's also breathed heavily or with gurgling sound in the last few days, and from time to time, around his eyes or mouth looks quite pale. I was a bit frightened and rang 24 hour NHS help line yesterday. I also went to GP to seek their advice. After listening my questions, the GP said, 'Are you a first time mum?' Those conditions are quite normal to new born babies and nothing to worry but lots of first time mums worry about these.

This photo was taken just after changing nappy. Arata looks so content.

+1W 6D へその緒が取れる The cord came off

おめでとう！へその緒が取れた。今朝、おむつを替えてたらへその緒がなかった。あれ～と、探してみると、床の上に落ちていた・・・。

Congratulations! Arata's cord has come off! When I was changing his nappy, I noticed that it wasn't there. I later found it on the floor...

+1W 4D 助産婦訪問 Midwife visit

イギリスでは退院後、助産婦さんの家庭訪問がある。赤ちゃんの様子、お母さんの産後の状態などをチェックし、いろいろな質問にも答えてくれるので非常に心強い。私の場合、退院翌日の出産4日目から、6、10、13日目に訪問があり、今日がその13日目だった。

普通は10日目にこのサービスが終わるのだが、赤ちゃんの体重が出生体重以上あることが条件（出産後しばらくは体重が減少するため）。新は少し足らなかったので今日も訪問を受けた。助産婦はばね測りのはかりの部分を携帯しているだけで、うちにあるレース網のような毛布を差し出し、赤ちゃんを裸にしてそこに入れてばね測りをひっかけて測るという原始的な仕組み。今日の新は3.4キロ。めでたく訪問助産婦のサービス終了、のはずだったが、へその緒がまだ取れていなかったので水曜日まで延期になった。

I had the 4th midwife home visit today. They have come around on the 4th, 6th, 10th and 13th days from Arata's birth. Midwives not only check our conditions but also answer to my questions to my concerns about baby. It's really helpful service for the first time mother like me.

Mother and baby are usually discharged on the 10th day under condition of baby's weight has return to the birth weight. Arata's weight was not enough on the 10th day and we had an extra visit today. He is weighed 3.4 kg, which is over his birth weight, but as his cord has been still attached, his discharge has been put off till Wednesday.

+1W 2D 声 Arata's voice

昨日ぐらいから新が「え」とか「う」とか赤ちゃん声を発生するようになった。母乳を飲み終わると、「はぁ」と、満足そうな声をだして眠ってしまうのがとてもかわいい。Jasonの会社からお祝いの花束が届いたので3人で初のショット。

Arata has started to make some sort of short baby voice since yesterday. He says 'Eee' or 'Uuu' with cute baby voice. When he has finished having milk, he says 'Haa' and falls asleep. It's very cute. We received a beautiful bouquet from Jason's work yesterday and we made our first family photo shot.

+1W 0D 日本のおばあちゃん Japanese grandma arrived

日本から母が到着。一ヶ月の予定で滞在。母は、写真で新を見たときは、「えー？この子、私の孫？」って思ったほど外人顔だという印象を受けたが、5日経って顔が変ったのか、今日見る新はオリエンタルに見えて安心？したらしい。かわいくてしょうがないらしく、一瞬も逃すまいと赤ちゃんの後をついて回っている？

Mum has arrived from Japan. She is staying and helping me for a month. When she first saw Arata in photos, she didn't believe that he was her grandson as he looked more Caucasian 5 days ago. Arata looks quite Oriental now and my mum seemed to be relieved. She has been following every movement of Arata as he is so adorable to her.

+0W 5D あらた・ぱとりっく・らむにー （中里新） Arata Patrick Rumney

赤ちゃんの写真はここをクリック！　First baby's photos!