

この写真、同一人物とは思えない?タカラを抱っこしながらほっぺをつっついて、「オリくん」と呼ぶと、私の方を向いて笑った。タカラはアラタに比べて早い時期から一人笑いを頻繁にしていたが、あやしている私に笑ったのは初めて!(注:実物の笑い顔はもう少しかわいいよ。)さて、これがこの2日で唯一嬉しかったこと。大変な2日間だった…。
月曜日に父到着。昨日から母と湖水地方に出かけたので、初めて一人で「アラタカラ」の面倒を見た。初日の昨日の朝、Jasonと両親が家を出てまもなく、アラタはぼそっと、「おへそ いたい。」そして、夕方までに6回嘔吐した。もちろん、そのたびに泣きながら私に抱きつくので、アラタと自分の洋服を洗濯し続け、絨毯はしみだらけ。ウイルス性胃腸炎(ロタウイルス?)をナーサリーでもらってきたか。
夕方までに、私の限界を超えて、JasonにSOSコール。絨毯の上に横になったまま元気のないアラタは心配だし、タカラが泣けばアラタも泣く。いつも定時で帰ってくるJasonに久しぶりにアフターファイブの予定があったのだけれども、そしてそれは、彼自身のお別れ会の日だった(転職するため)のに、7時頃には帰って来るはめに。
今日はもっと厳しくかった。2年弱の子育ての中、初めて泣きたいと思った日かも。嘔吐は治まったが下痢の始まったアラタと、タカラになるべく移したくないと神経質になっている、疲れで頭痛気味の、私。私の緊張も伝わったのだろう。少し元気が戻った分、アラタは昨日以上に不機嫌で最高に愚図っている。タカラにおっぱいを上げていると自分を抱っこしろとわめく。かかっているDVDが気に入らなくて「いやだ」を連発しては替える。そして、合間の「これ何?」質問攻めがいつもより執拗に聞こえて私は辟易。何度も切れそうになった。具合が悪くて甘えたいのに、ママは赤ちゃんがいるから100%のアテンションをくれない。その上、毎日いたおばあちゃん、おじいちゃんがいない。かわいそうなのはわかっていても、つい強い口調になってしまう。ああ、疲れた。二児の母。こんなの序の口だなんて言わないで…。
Can you believe that these are the same person? Takara smiled at me for the first time. He's been smiling by himself, which is much earlier and more often than Arata used to, but it was officially the first time he was amused by and smiled at me. This is the only good news in the last 2 days. It was so hectic.
My mum left for a short break to the Lake District with dad, who arrived from Japan on Monday. It was the first test for me to look after 2 kids by myself. On the very first day and at the very first moment, just after Jason and my parents left yesterday morning, Arata quietly said, "Oheso itai {Sore around the belly button}." Then till the early evening, he vomited 6 times. Of course, he cried and came to me for cuddle each time, I had to wash both his and my clothes so many times. He must have contracted Rota Virus?
And it reached my limit by evening. Arata was so unwell and kept lying down on the floor. When Takara cried, Arata also started to cry. I didn't want to but I had to make a couple of SOS calls to Jason, who was going to stay late with his colleagues for leaving drinks. Jason came home by 7 o'clock.
Today, it was much worse, and I had to say it's the worst day of my life since I had Arata. Arata's vomit has stopped but diarrhoea started. He's been a bit more energetic than yesterday but asked for a cuddle all the time. Especially, when I was feeding Takara. Arata looked so unhappy and started to cry very loud for a cuddle.
On top of that, I was over sensitive about not passing the virus to Takara and Arata might have sensed my tension. I had a slight headache as well and it started to get on my nerves that Arata kept asking me, "Kore nani (What's this?)" I don't know how many times I was about to break down and scream at him to stop it! I know Arata is ill and wants lots of my attention. Plus his grandparents suddenly disappeared. But still, I couldn't help being difficult to him a couple of times. I am absolutely shattered. Welcome to the motherhood of 2 small kids? Don't say that this is just the beginning.....












