New Forest、Bornemouth から帰還。ボーンマスがあんなにリゾートだとは思わなかった。きれいな海岸が続いていて、Sea View のリゾートホテルが並んでいる。私たちが泊まったのは Carlton Hotel という四星ホテルだ。何やら中流を意識しすぎたイギリス人家族で埋まっていて、なんだかいやな感じだった。同じお金を払うなら、モルジブにでも行きたい！なんて思ってしまった。
ようやく今日の１０時ごろになって腹が減ってきたって感覚が戻ってきた。ご飯を炊いて、梅干しで一杯食べたらおいしかった。でもやはり、食後に胃が痛む。５時すぎに夕飯を食べた時は、やはり、初めの少しを食べると、急激に食欲が減退して、全部食べられないという、ここ１週間続いている症状が現れた。そんなに量もないので、あまり食べたくはないが、ゆっくりと咀嚼してようやく食べ終えることはできたが・・・。ただの胃炎じゃなくてガンとかじゃあないだろうね。ちょっと心配。
ほぼ一週間結果的にあまり食べていないのが、この週末に如実に現れた。車から降りて、１０歩も歩くと、疲労感が激しく襲ってきて、歩くスピードもおばあちゃんのようだし、息は切れるし、ちょっとした坂なんてとても上れないのだ。完全に燃料切れ状態。だいたい、この世に生を受けて以来、１週間も食欲がなかったことは一度も無い。食欲がわかないというのは、こんなにも不幸なのかと初めて感じた。ここ２、３日はちょっと食欲があったりするのだが、前記の通り、ちょっと食べるとすぐに食べたくなくなる症状がでて、何もおいしくない。何も食べないからパワーが沸かなくて、ずっと疲れていて、何もやる気が起きない。医者の言ったとおり、ほんの少しの食欲で得た燃料はまず、赤ちゃんが持っていってしまうから、私が壊れそうなのだ。まあ、赤ちゃんに害がないならいいが私は歩くこともつらい。
金曜日の韓国飯に続き、昨日も中華がまあ食べたいと中華に行ったが、あまり量は食べられなかった。ただ、ゆっくりとよくかんで食べれば、食べている最中にあまり胃が痛くならないって事がわかったのは今日の食事に役にたった。まあ、きのうぐらいから、食べてすぐトイレに直行という症状はなくなったので少しは快復に向かっているのか。Jason には、続けてオリエンタルな食事ばかり付き合ってもらってしまい、感謝している。結局行っても一口食べただけであとは食べられないからなんだかただのわがままのようなのだが、他に少しでも食べたいってものが全くない。今食べたいのは梅干しの入ったおにぎり。でも、のりも梅干しももうない・・・。
Just came back from New Forest and Bournemouth. I didn't know that Bournemouth is such a touristy resort. They have a long beautiful beach line and lots of hotels are built along the sea. We stayed at Carlton Hotel, a 4 star hotel. I did not feel comfortable for 150 pound par night. Some of the guests acted like upper class people while they are in fact from the middle class. I suddenly missed resorts in Maldives!
The feeling of appetite started to come back at around 10 pm today. I cooked Japanese rice and ate 1 bowl of rice with a pickled plum, umeboshi. I still have a pain just after eating. When I had a meal at about 5 pm, I suddenly lost appetite after having a bit of food, the symptoms which has been persistent in the last 1 week. This time, the amount of the food was not so much and I decided to finish it by chewing food longer than usual, some skill I learnt yesterday. I started to worry about it a bit more. Hope it is not serious such as cancer!
The results of no proper eating for a week has started to take a toll. I feel so tired after probably about 50 meters of walk, and can not keep going unless walking like an old lady. Out of breath easily and if there is a slight slope on the way, I can not walk up. I am totally running out of petrol. I have never ever lost appetite for such a long time since I was born. I've realised first time in my life that having appetite, which we usually take for granted, is very important and happy thing! In the last couple of days, I had had some appetite but just after putting some food into my stomach, I suddenly felt enough, nothing tasted nice, no power because of no food, being so tired, lost interests in everything.... As the GP told me, the only energy I produced from little food must have been all taken by the baby and I can not maintain myself. If the baby is fine, that'll be ok, but it is really hard even walking.
I wanted to have Chinese yesterday, but I could not eat much. However, I discovered one thing. If I chewed food longer than usual, my stomach did not react badly with a terrible pain. This was really helpful for today's dinner. The symptoms that I go to toilet while eating seems to have disappeared. I may be getting better. I have to thank Jason for coming to oriental restaurants every day with me. Even having my favourite food, I could not finish my meal and looked a bit like my mere selfishness. Well, but nothing else was tempting, though. At the moment, I want to have a rice ball with a picked plum wrapped with Nori (a paper see weed) but pickled plums are running out like my petrol...
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