今日は約二ヶ月ぶりにフェイシャルに行った。今回やるトリートメントは初めての MD とかいうやつだったので、Ginot みたいに、超音波みたいのを使ったりするのだと、赤ちゃんに大丈夫か心配だったので、真っ先にYana に妊娠してることを告げた。「今日はニュースがあるの」と、私。「何？教えて。」彼女は本当に心から喜んでくれた、彼女も39歳で第二子を産んだそうだ。初産は33歳ということだが、まあ高齢出産をしたことには変わりはない。
その MD とかいうトリートメントは、フルーツ酸(?)のピーリングだったのでいつものように、器械は使わないし、マッサージとかもなく30分ぐらいで終わってしまった。 6回のセッションで完成らしく、第一回のトリートメントは、中ぐらいの強さの酸を3分から10分まで、個人ごとの反応をみながらパックするらしいが、まあ予想通り、私は肌は強い方なのでで、10分十分行って、確かに頬のしみが少し薄くなった気がする。Yana によると、妊娠中はもう、このトリートメントと超音波を使うGinot はできないので、コースでトリートメントできなくて残念だが、出産後にまたやってあげるって言われた。次回は普通のマニュアルのフェイシャルをしてもらうことにした。
トリートメントを受けながら、妊娠の話しを少しした。彼女は第一子の時はつわりもなく楽だったけど、二人目はすごいつわりがあったらしい。だから必ずしも、無い人は無いとかじゃなくて、その時の妊娠によるのかも。私が高齢で、ダウン症の事なんかも心配だって事を話すと、「妊娠はそもそも自然なもの。あんまり心配しないで自然に任せなさい。」と、言われた。確かにそのとおりなんだよな。なんか目からうろこが落ちたようだ。当たり前のことだし、私の好きな言葉は諸行無常だったっけと、ふっとした。妊娠発覚後1ヶ月経って、やっと、気持ちが Ready になってきたのかもしれない。覚悟ができてくるにしたがって、あまり怖くなくなってきたし、友達に少しずつ打ち明ける気にもなってきたから。ま、今日の Yana の言葉はすごく心に響いた。プラス、彼女のだんなはお母さんが50歳の時の子どもらしい。お母さんはすっかり更年期障害だと思っていて、妊娠に気がついたのはお腹の中で赤ちゃんがキックし始めた時だったとの事。これには驚いた。旦那は五体満足に産まれ、今は有能なミュージシャンらしい。どんなジャンルか今度聞いてみよう。
Yana のだんなはやはりブルガリア人だそうだ。彼女は私のパートナーがニュージーランド人だってわかると、「オリエンタルと白人のミックスはかわいいのよーーー。」と興奮していた。私もそう思ったこともあるが、何人も見ていると、必ずしもそうでないこともあることは知っているが･･･。そうそう、Yana はすごく喜んでくれるのでなんだか私も嬉しくなって、「Yana がとても喜んでくれて嬉しい」って伝えると、「だって妊娠して子どもを産むってどんなにすばらしいことか私は知ってるからね。」いいこと言うなあ。親、兄弟、パートナーに対するのとは違う愛なんだそうだ。うまく説明はできないけど、全く違った愛らしい。
Mother Care というマタニティードレスや赤ちゃんグッズを売ってる店がボンドストリートの駅の近くにあると彼女に聞いたので、帰りに寄ってみた。残念なことに、あまりマタニティーは置いてなかった。でも、赤ちゃん用の小さいニットの帽子や、ちっちゃい靴下、そのままくるめる小さい毛布が袋になったみたいなもの、とか、たくさん置いてあった。なんだかそれを見ていたら、あまりにもかわいくて、心が温かく、嬉しくなってきた。初めて母性に目覚めたかも･･･。
I went to facial this evening. I haven't been there since I found out my pregnancy. The treatment I took was called MD and it was first time for me. As I was not sure what sort of treatment it was, involving micro sound wave like Ginot etc, and worried about its side effects on pregnancy, I told my beautician Yana the big news first. She was so delighted to hear that. She gave birth to her second child when she was 39, as well. Although she got pregnant first time when she was 33, she is another woman who has experienced pregnancy at quite old age.
The treatment is fruit (?) acid peeling and she did not use any instruments. There was no massage either and it finished only after a half an hour. Usually, we go for 6 MD sessions as a complete package. In the first treatment, they use medium strong acid and see how we react to it. Some people are sensitive and can only expose to the acid for 3 minutes, but in my case, as I can expect, my skin is quite strong and I did it for 10 minutes. Some of the pigmentation on my cheeks actually look a bit fairer. However, I can not take this or Ginot treatment after middle to late pregnancy. It was quite a shamed but she will do it for me after the baby birth. From next time, I will take normal manual facials.
During the treatment, we were talking about pregnancy. Her first pregnancy was very conformable without any morning sickness. But her second one was horrible, she had very bad morning sickness. I thought morning sickness depends on the woman but probably depends on the pregnancy?? I express my anxiety of my pregnancy because of my age, Down's syndrome etc, but she said, 'Pregnancy itself is very natural thing. Just let it happen and don't worry.' Yes, that's true. I've never thought that way. I suddenly remembered that my motto is 'Let the water flow.' I felt much better with her words. Probably I have also started to feel ready about he new situation, being in pregnancy. It's been nearly a month since I found out my pregnancy. As more getting ready, I feel less worried and I have started to tell my close friends about it. Yana inspired me lots today. By the way, her husband was born when his mom was 50! Of course, his mom had not expected she was pregnant, she rather thought it was the signs of menopause, she only realised that she had a baby just after he started to kick her tummy from inside! Her husband is very healthy good musician, Yana said. I will ask her next time what sort of musician he is.
Yana's husband is Bulgarian as well. When she got to know my boyfriend is from New Zealand, she asked me if he is Caucasian and continued excitingly, 'Mixed babies of oriental and Caucasian are soooooooo cute!' Well, I used to think that but after seeing so many combinations, I know that it's not always true. Anyway, as she was so excited to hear my news, which made me also happy, I said to her, "I'm so glad that you are so happy to my news!' 'Of course! Because I know how wonderful it is to be pregnant and have a baby!' Love towards own children is completely different from the love to your parents or partner, she said. 'I can not explain it,' she said, 'you can only feel it from your own experience with your children.'
She suggested me going to the shop called 'Mother Care'. It's on my way back to Bond Street station and I just dropped in. I'd wanted to see some maternity clothes. Quite disappointedly, there are not many ranges of them. But the store was full of baby's clothes. Tiny baby caps, little baby socks, baby's coat..... When I was walking inside the store, my heart became really warm. I had a very thrilled feeling for the first time since I found out my pregnancy. Finally, my maternal instinct is awaken from somewhere deep inside of me....
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