Sunday, 18 September 2011
6Y8M 4Y11M 子供の感受性 Children's sensitivity
It's Jason's turn to be away from home. 24 hours after I came back, he set off to Japan for 5-day business trip.
It's only a short period that Jason is away. But the emotional effects on Aratakara is much more than we expected. Especially, it seems to affect Arata badly. He is usually rather calm, compared to Takara who throws his angers and sadness straight forwards.
We went to the airport to see off Jason. When the time was up and Jason started to make a move, Arata started to shed tears saying, "I feel sad when one of you is away."
At the entrance to the immigration, Arata asked Jason to cuddle him a couple of times, while he was looking down and crying quietly. Within 5 minutes Jason disappeared from our sight, Arata rang him to his mobile. But Arata was still feeling low. He slipped his tongue and said "Daddy" as if Jason had been there. Takara quickly said, "Arata, you are strange, Daddy is not here now."
Arata still looked depressed when we got home. I said to boys, "Tonight, let's sleep in my bed together." Arata tucked in under a piece of king-size sheet of our bed, then said, "I feel daddy". Surely, he'd behaved a bit strange even for me!
I didn't expect this sort of reaction from Arata, and at first I thought Arata could sense something unfortunate which would happen to Jason! Well, but, when I started to think more logically, I understood that Arata has had quite strong anxiety about one parent constantly being away. I never realised that children are very sensitive to this extent, to the changes of their surroundings.
I remembered what Jo, who is a primary school teacher back in the UK, said a couple of months ago. She told me that in the UK, primary schools encourage parents to inform them about any small unusual changes or events at home, including husband being away on business trip. It doesn't seem to be relevant, but it would be very useful for the school to understand the situation if a child behaves a bit different from usual because the reason behind might be this small change at home.
Yes, I now know what she was talking about.
Well, Takara didn't look upset much today, though.